"Be faithful in the little things." My new friend Michelle reminded me of this last night. It was a small but powerful statement said sort of just in passing. I was explaining to her how overwhelmed I get when I think of what God might want me to do with my life. There are so many opportunities in the will of God--lots of ways to serve him. I have been feeling overwhelmed because I don't know which option I should walk towards. Urban Ministry? I think so. But maybe not. Stateside? for some time, yes. Overseas? I would love to. My passion for urban ministry, my passion for Bible translation, my passion for international studies, my passion for community development...aaah. SO MANY!
Michelle and I decided to get off campus in order to study yesterday evening. She knew of a cute cafe on the brown line. I hardly knew her. I went. We couldn't find the place so we sat in the upstairs of a corner street Borders. We drank tazo tea and talked...and talked...and read a little :)...and talked. It was amazing. We shared our hearts....just a bit...diving in deeper than we do with most. It was wonderful. I needed it badly, and the Lord knew it. I thank him for such a gift! We are a lot alike. We share many similar desires, passions, fears, struggles, frustrations, excitements...we share the desire to "go deep". We decided that whenever we want to "go deep" we'll just yell across the hall (she lives RIGHT across the hall from me).
She encouraged me in so many ways and opened my eyes again to just the simple beauty of loving and following the Lord....and being faithful in the little things. He knows me. That is such a peace to me. HE KNOWS ME. He knows what the future holds. I need to rest in that.
I thank God for the evidence of His hand at work in my life. It's thrilling to watch him work. The girls on my hall are amazing. I can't explain the love I am developing for these dear sisters.
Life is somewhat "hard" these days...still adjusting to new things and new people. I'm working to find my place among these people and manage my time well. But life is SO rich. It is full. I am incredibly excited.
My class "Studying and Teaching the Bible" is really amazing. We're learning all kinds of Bible study methods, etc. It is so helpful and opens my eyes to whole new ways of studying and reading scripture. Wow.
I find myself in a quiet place with God. I am amazed and excited by the diversity I see around me...so many DIFFERENT kinds of people living differently for God. They express themselves differently but the beauty lies in the fact that we share a common passion--to see the Lord high and lifted up. It's a new feeling for me. There are definitely "flyers" and "non-flyers" (only a few of you will understand this analogy...sorry) but that was (is) to be expected. This is true ANYWHERE...just remember that. Every environment demands certain things of us. Every environment affects us differently. God calls us to love Him EVERYWHERE. He calls us to be his true disciples. This might take on a different look in each place, depending. It will definitely have similarities. Life is a battle anywhere you are. Capture the time you're in. God has given it to you and He calls you to fill it. LIVE in it.
As I look ahead to a new semester, and as I sit in a certain "quietness" before God, I whisper "Father, I don't know how to live. Teach me. I don't know how to love. Show me. I don't even know what to think. Think for me. Fill me up. I am not my own." Surrender is a hard lesson. I think I'm in the middle of a "surrender lesson" :) Please pray for me. Thank you.
1 comment:
I am so glad that you have found a friend with whom you can bare your heart and "go deep."
I understand your lack of certainty about the path set out for you, though, of course, my reasons for uncertainty are sadly not due to too many conflicting passions :)
Flyers and non-flyers. Heh. It always fascinates me how the location, culture, community, etc so drastically effect the outward signs of "flying" v "non-flying," how the visible signs of a "flyer" can be so different from person-to-person and place-to-place. We assuredly serve a God Who celebrates diversity.
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