it's hard to sermon write knowing that my professor for the class is going in for open heart surgery. sigh. Dr. de Rosset had 99 percent blockage. this is so unexpected. in an email to me she mentioned that she's been reminded of O'Connor's words that "sickness is a necessary geography." i love her. i respect her so much.
first sermon and already i've hit walls. mostly i've been afraid to approach it. i teach on psalm 42 (delivered friday)--prayer and lament. maybe it's because i'm intimidated to teach Scripture. maybe it's because i am so gripped by the subject i feel i can't dare do it justice. maybe i realize it's something i need to still learn and keep learning so teaching it seems a bit strange.
but i once heard that we teach best what we need to learn most. this isn't to say that we don't, as teachers/speakers, prepare, study, and understand that which we desire to teach (this is a duty). But to truly learn something can take much longer than we give ourselves credit. so the discovery of the need is a step in the journey (but you're right, let's not settle there). i've discovered my need to learn more bold, raw, truth-telling prayer, and i feel passionately about others doing the same.
hmm. we'll see how it goes.
in researching, i came across this quote again from Billman and Migliore in "Rachel's Cry: Prayer of Lament and Rebirth of Hope."
“Prayer in the Hebrew Scriptures freely expresses feelings of distress, anger, and abandonment. Israel cries to God, boldly questions God, complains that God is far off, argues with God in prayer."
make my faith more honest, Lord, and it's expression more true.