I'm an auntie

It's true. Jay and Kristen are going to have a wee little mcgee!! The baby is due on January 23rd. Sigh. I am SOOOO excited.

I have a shelter

I have a shelter in the storm
When troubles pour upon me
Though fears are rising like a flood
My soul can rest securely
O Jesus, I will hide in You
My place of peace and solace
No trial is deeper than Your love
That comforts all my sorrows

I have a shelter in the storm
When all my sins accuse me
Though justice charges me with guilt
Your grace will not refuse me
O Jesus, I will hide in You
Who bore my condemnation
I find my refuge in Your wounds
For there I find salvation

I have a shelter in the storm
When constant winds would break me
For in my weakness, I have learned
Your strength will not forsake me
O Jesus, I will hide in You
The One who bears my burdens
With faithful hands that cannot fail
You’ll bring me home to heaven
(from sovereign grace music ministries)

Comfort in this today

It's easy to think and say "the world is out of control, its going to pot!" but I am gently reminded that no, the world is NOT out of control. The world is in God's hands. I have to trust that. This world is passing away but a new world is being made. God is busy redeeming. He is making all things new. WOW! This is reason to rejoice, saints. What beautiful hope we have. Help us, Lord, to live within these truths each day. May they not simply make sense in our minds but echo true in our hearts and carry themselves out in daily life.

May we be ambassadors of this redemption...

here. there. and everywhere!!!

i just want to slackline

maybe because my head is full of thoughts. i like slacklining. i like it a lot. It sort of calms me down--at least maybe just clears my head.
tomorrow i'm hopefully going rock climbing with Luker. I really want to get out. maybe I'll drive up the mountain anyway. and read a book. hm. that sounds amazing :)

Today was a good day. I cleaned my room and sorted through a lot of things for packing (or getting rid of). I like spending time in my room sorting through old memories. I'm reminded of how far God has brought me--through so much. I've been in a whole bunch of different circumstances and situations over the past several years. It kind of blows my mind when I stop to think about it. I am so grateful for the life He has given me. I am privileged to walk beside the friends i have and honored to journey with my family. AH! I am simply so very BLESSED. Grace abounds.

ouch

i have a bad headache. i hate headaches.

i think i shall go take a nap. That sounds marvelous. sigh.

Summertime

I'm back in AZ. Already the fun begins :) Luke and I went slacklining yesterday. woohoo! It was lots of fun. By the end of the summer, man...watch out!

Had a sleepover last night with hannah. I love summer sleepovers. Actually, I just love sleepovers in general. We watched the old Parent Trap. I had never seen it. It's definitely a million times better than the new one. It was super cute.

I have an interview on Wednesday at Tucson Country Club. I've applied at a bunch of places. I kind of want the grocery store job back because I sort of know it already. Alas. We'll see.

I went to the library today and got a bunch of books. I'll let you know more about them as I read them!

I'm going to go sit on the back patio ato read and write letters. Nice.

The World I Leave to My Children

A little blond haired girl stood on the street corner by a plastic picnic table strewn with plastic cups and a pitcher of lemonade. She wore pink sunglasses. I made Melissa stop. I remember those days. I usually made about 50 cents. My most loyal customers were mom and dad.

She ran up to the car door with a big smile on her face. Melissa asked how much. The little girl giggled and look at us shyly "uhh, I forgot. umm. 25 cents. for one." So we bought two cups of lemonade and the girl was ecstatic. She was adorable.

I just read an article about the children of Somalia. It is considered (by the UN) to be the worst place in the world right now for children to grow up. That's a hard statement to make. I could think of an incredible number of horrific places for children to grow up. But that's not the point. The fact is, its true--Somalia is a terrible place for children right now.

I was thinking as that little girl ran up to our car window "Wow, she's completely unsupervised. This is sort of dangerous. Someone could drive away with her so easily!"

I just read this article about how the children in Somalia are playing "Islamists and Ethiopians" as a version of the beloved "Cowboys and Indians" and they talk about living their dream of becoming fighters one day. (Here's the link).

There are, indeed, true and right fears to face in America when it comes to raising our children...whether in the inner-city or the suburbs. That's the reality of the world we live in. However, we know virtually NOTHING if we compare our national stability with that of other nations. I shudder to think what fathers and mothers are facing in these countries experiencing deep violence and staggering destruction caused by disease and natural disasters.

"Only when man feels himself responsible for the future can he have hope or despair, but when he thinks of himself as the passive victim of an extremely complex technological bureaucracy, his motivation falters and he starts drifting from one moment to the next, making like a long row of randomly chained incidents and accidents." -Henri Nouwen

Do you ever think about what sort of "future" we will hand off to those who follow after us? To the children?

I do... and it drives me to my knees. There is great reason to Hope. There is great reason to Dream. There is great reason and need to fight for these hopes and these dreams.

"C" is for clarity

Which I need.

crying before you fall asleep makes for a great night's sleep.

Last night I was trying to clarify a lot inside. I was listening to my ipod. Bebo's song "Cover Me" and Sandra McCracken "Shelter" were played over and over. Such rich songs.

Things seem a little frustrating. I feel like there's a lot in my head and heart that I need to "figure out." I'm always figuring things out, though, and I wonder if I try too hard...if I should just let things come together more than I do. Sigh. Who knows. I'm laying my heart before the Lord as I step into a new summer and go back home.

I have a few hours before Melissa comes to get me. I finished packing/cleaning early so I might go get some coffee and read or journal outside. The weather is BEAUTIFUL today. A true summer day :) yessss.

"blessed is this life, and i'm gonna celebrate being alive!" (love that song!!)

blessings to you all today.

Almost done...almost gone

I fly home a week from today. That thought makes me breath deep and smile big.

I am exhausted. Physically I feel so drained. Emotionally I feel stretched to the max. Spiritually I feel very much in need of rest.

There is SO MUCH going through my head and heart right now. I can't even start...I won't. I'll be catching up with some of you soon. That is a super exciting thought.

I am looking forward to this summer. Aside from a few stresses (like the impending job search) I eagerly await time with family and friends, the reading of good books, the discovering of cool places around town, etc.

I've been packing and cleaning all day. I have one more test tomorrow morning. I am SO TIRED and just want to sleep...but I need to study. bleh. I have been drinking coffee but it doesn't keep me up anymore, so I am trying to "go off" of it. Man... these are crazy days. Clearly "college days," I guess. You know, those days when it feels like you're a college student. Not all days are like these :)

I went slacklining for the last time on the beach! Next time with be with the little bro. I'm SO EXCITED. Mmmm. Fun times ahead.

Ok. I really need to go. Hope you all are well!!

At the end of a hard day there is always hope

yesterday was rough. I spent the day at a wonderful (recently-discovered) coffee/tea house called the Noble Tree. I worked on homework by myself and spent some time thinking. I was a little overwhelmed about world events. I was reading about Burma, Sudan, Somalia, Lebanon, etc., and was just feeling really heavy. I'm learning how to "give the burden back" to the Lord. We pray "break my heart for the things that break Yours!" hardly expecting the pain to be so real or so great. Part of being given a burden for the world, though, is learning to hand it back to the Lord--for His ultimate glory. He holds the world, not I. This is hard for me to learn.

After a heavy afternoon of questioning and frustration, I had to babysit for 5 hours. I had a little bit of a headache and wasn't feeling up to it but I really need the money. It was actually not that bad because the little guy actually went to BED...at 8! so I watched tv...Man on Fire.

Mariah and I both got done babysitting at the same time. We met up with Zach in Culby two to spend some time in prayer, corporately "laying down" our burdens. It was SO refreshing. I am always amazed at how the Spirit lifts and encourages.

While praying, I sensed the need to pray for the Church--especially in these places where so much heartache, war, violence, and oppresion are breaking out or carrying on. God gave me Ephesians 4 and parts of 3--recognizing the need to bring into the light all that is done in darkness, and for the light to remain strong. He's resuscitating His people across the lands...His hand is over His people, we will NOT be overcome. How encouraging to be reminded of the POWER of the Lord--to accomplish all He is doing. Wow. I was overcome with a painful peace. I can't deny the realities of this world (which cause pain) but I also cannot deny the even greater reality of Truth (which brings joy). There is, indeed, great joy in suffering.

It is through suffering that we see God. Suffering is the gateway to heaven. Look at the cross--greatest violence and greatest grace. Incredible.

Be encouraged, Saints! The Lord lives and works!!

"If the world was as it should, maybe I could get some sleep"

Sudanese rebels are trying to take control of Khartoum. I don't know what this will mean. I have a friend who has friends in Khartoum who say the bridges have been captured. Here's the story:

Sudan

Burmese government is acting incredibly suspiciously and irresponsibly--demanding a vote be taken over whether or not to allow aid. There are 1.5 million people in dire need. The country is in no position to care for the problem--it is massive. Water borne diseases are breaking out on a large scale. There is a fear of cholera breaking out.

Somalia is in poor condition. I recently read an article discussing the fact that what is currently unfolding in Somalia is probably the least-understood/known problem but one (if not the) most pressing. Of course, that's a hard thing to say when considering all that this world is facing. But i think the point is that Somalia has been overlooked for years--17 years without a central government.


"The bullets can't stop the prayers we pray." -Rich Mullins

Burma tragedy

Death toll is now at 10,000. I've been learning over the past weeks that, in the face of suffering, we are not to ask God WHY but WHAT. What do you want me (us) to do with this and in this? It is not easy to change the question...it is a change in perspective.

There was also a bomb raid on a school in Darfur. When I read about an oppressive regime that stoops to bombing refugee schools I cry for strentgh to ask the what and not the why.

Oh God.

Learning to praise Him in the storm.

Zach talked with professor Craigen about Burma today and Craigen said God never wastes a tragedy. I thought that was interesting.

The discussion has been on my mind and heart lately about the "cause" of natural disasters. Judgement from God? Simply the results of living in a fallen world that is ruled by evil? For a while I wrestled to decide between the two. Now I think its more of a combination, though no answer is clean or easy. But the Burmese government has been extremely oppressive and coercive. Many are forced out of country for assylum or into refugee camps.

The government has now opened its doors for aid. Hmm. This is interesting to me. I am reminded of the tsunami.

We really ought to be on our knees.

Pray for Burma

It is a country that is undergoing incredible heardship. It is in an "alert" state of genocide. Many of the Karen people find themselves living in refugee camps along the Thai border. There is deep oppression and coercion.

In recent news, a cyclone hit the country and over 350 are dead...20,000 homes destroyed...90,000 displaced people. Oh my God, what do we do with this?

I told Mariah this afternoon, I wish we had money to arrange a group to go over for several months to help clear up and provide simple medical aid. Realizing more and more the need/desire to gain practical training and experience while here. I intend to take advantage of the next several semesters to attend public conferences, etc., that are in the area--so many yet to discover!

Next weekend a photographer is coming into town with a set on the children of Darfur. It is being held at the Heartland cafe. I am privileged to have these opportunities.

Below are a few links to some specific articles about the cyclone in Burma. I encourage you to read a bit and spend some time in prayer for the families and homes that have been torn apart. Pray for the Holy Spirit's enouraging breath to fall over the people and into broken lives. Greater is He than this world that falls apart...

BBC

USA Today

Global Geopolitics blog