Reading through old journals always teaches me. i think because i forget things so easily.
do you ever feel like you learn something and then forget about it a second later? you have to be reminded again...and again...and again. oh how i've come to give deep thanks to the Lord for his graciousness towards me. how patient he is TO remind me again...and again...and again.
anyway, i got to reading my journal today because A. i was tired of doing homework B. i was bored C. i haven't been able to write for a long time and i wanted to try again.
on march 22nd i prayed something because i was gripped: "hold us for truth's sake. hold us by grace for refinement, even if by fire."
it isn't easy being spent. life is lived well if lived in degrees of losing self. the goal isn't self protection or self loss but stewardship. this isn't an easy thing to learn. living well after Christ requires a theology of self-care. "spending" life (in ministry, family, faith) requires stewardship of self and of one another. we need teachable spirits, Lord.
we have to catch a vision for the image inside of us, i think. i felt something of it on march 22nd and it mattered to me. it matters to me that we are changed, matured, and made new. so, as i am spent--and as i live with others being spent--i pray, "hold us for truth's sake. hold us by grace for refinement, even if by fire."