I was about to go out to do home-based care in Masoyi Community (South Africa) with one of the volunteers, Sandy. Her role was to visit the sick and dying with the hope of the Lord in her pocket and the weapons of prayer and encouragement in both hands. I followed her down the dirt road, leaving a trail of red dust hanging in the air behind me.
We wandered the dry paths up and over hills, behind decaying mud houses, between make-shift fences, until we rounded a corner and found ourselves in an immaculate front yard--the dirt packed and swept in front of a small house. At the open door, I saw a young woman on hands and knees, working. (I later found out she was waxing the cement floor of her small living room).
I met her. I met Gladys. I held her thin, boney little hand in mine. She was skinny as a rail and had lost all her hair. She was beautiful. She smiled constantly, a deep hope radiating from her face. I was reminded of Psalm 34:5: "Those who look to Him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces."
Gladys motioned for us to sit on her couch while she sat across from us in a chair. Before arriving, Sandy had told me that this young, single mom has AIDS. She had been very sick the week before and Gladys was not expected to live much longer. Sandy expected Gladys to be very sick, possibly in bed. To the surprise of both of us, she was not. She had green hands from her meticulous work of waxing the floor.
Sandy shared a few verses that seemed to be common between them. To be honest, I do not remember what they were. I was too deeply inthralled by the beauty of this small, decaying young woman. Her face was full of light. "Is she supposed to be so happy?" I thought. It was a breath of fresh air in a land of "hopeless conditions." She was holding onto something; living for something.
It is a common practice with Sandy to sing with her patients. Sometimes she lets the patient choose, other times she chooses. On this particular day we sang "Gladys' song." It was one of those rare moments you encounter when you whisper the promise "I will never forget today" and you know immediately that everything about the moment is burned in your mind and heart forever. The soft notes were started by Sandy but I heard them coming out strong from Gladys. Simple words with a rich store of meaning for her: "I will never give up." Throughout the song the words are repeated over and over.
Gladys sang. It was obvious she was singing for someone. I wish I could have seen who it was, though I knew beyond a doubt who it was. It was as if she saw Him seated before her. Her frail yet rich voice was raised and her arms outstretched. It looked as if she knew He was calling her home and she was anxious to meet him, arms open.
"How can we pray for you, Gladys?" Sandy asked. Her reply startled me: "I'm happy to be living!" That's it? I thought. Nothing more? That wasn't even a request! Her face was full of light. I could see a little fear in her eyes but it had not gotten the better of her. She was holding onto hope. There was no denial; she knew she was dying. She also knew that there is hope for eternity. The hope we have for eternity is just as much a hope for every day we are living here on earth.
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I wrote these words in my journal that night:
September 17, 2007
We must anchor our lives on the hope we have in Christ. Future grace. Joy in our ultimate sanctification--our glorification; the new heavens and the new earth; new bodies, new selves. Hope is in the resurrection of Christ--and hope is in His return! Where there is vision there is hope; where there is hope there is life.
There is joy in the midst of suffering. It is rich. It is, perhaps, the "truest" experience of joy: real, full joy. A smile through tears...a hug through pain...a new day to live...the enjoyment of little pleasures: a sunrise, birds singing, little children playing...
Life is a good gift. Today I was actually able to see this to be true for a beautiful young woman infected with HIV. How can this be? By the grace of God...because of hope and because He is the source of all joy--even in the midst of great suffering.
"Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: the faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in Him!' the Lord is good to those who depend on Him, to those who search for Him."
-Lamentations 3:21-25
These verses are very "real" to me tonight, as I remember Gladys, sitting in her chair, gaunt and thin yet illuminated by her striking smile, arms outstretched, singing quietly and confidently "I will never give up."
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Walking through those neighborhoods was incredible. As we kicked up red dirt, making our way through alleys, around small gardens, and under mango trees, angels were around. I don't know if I've sensed their presence so much in all my life. It was as if we had to push our way through them to get by. "Excuse me, pardon me." All the while, I walked with a big smile on my face because I knew God had not forgotten these people. Psalm 121 says that He who watches over us does not sleep. In that place, in the Masoyi Community of South Africa, God is not sleeping. He is sending His Spirit out into the neighborhoods and into homes to whisper to His hurting children, "Never never never give up."
(below: Masoyi Community, South Africa)
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