Language of the Heart

"You can say that you always were honest
And your words were clear from the start
But its more than just words that got spoken
There was language of the heart"

OUCH!

Luke and I were sitting in the living room the other night...I was on the couch minding my own business and he came in and sat across from me in the rocking chair. He had this fat little rubber band he was playing with. He thought it would be funny to shoot it at me, I guess. Anyway, he hit me in the arm. HARD. It hurt. It even left a mark! We were laughing pretty hard about it....after I gave him a dirty look, of course :) haha. We promptly took pictures before the mark faded. It's still a little hard to see...


Gotta love the little brother :)

Behold He Comes!

These are the days of Elijah
Declaring the Word of the Lord

And these are the days of your servant Moses
Righteousness being restored

And though these are days of great trials
Of famine and darkness and sword

Still we are the voice in the desert crying
Prepare ye the way of the Lord!

Behold He comes! Riding on the clouds!
Shining like the sun! At the trumpet call
Lift your voice! It's the year of Jubilee!
And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!

And these are the days of Ezekiel
The dry bones becoming as flesh

And these are the days of your servant David
Rebuilding a temple of praise

And these are the days of the harvest
The fields are as white in the world

And we are the labourers in your vineyard
Declaring the word of the Lord!

I feel very worked up right now. Lord, make my heart at peace. Anger (and/or distress) has a very dangerous ability to eat away at ones soul. Lord, don't give evil that victory.

"The house of my soul is too small for you to come to it. May it be enlarged by you. It is in ruins: restore it. In your eyes it has offensive features. I admit it, I know it; but who will clean it up?" -St. Augustine.

"And I feel thunder in the sky
I see the sky about to rain
And I hear the prairies calling out Your name." -Rich Mullins

"Lest I die, let me die so that I may see it." -St. Augustine

When you start coughing up blood it's a bad thing.

Hannah: "When I coughed, blood came out in my spit."
Me: "That isn't good. Have you seen a doctor?"
Hannah: "Yes. He said it was normal."
Me: "Normal?! hannah, coughing up blood it NOT normal. what if you have TB??"
Hannah: *laughs*
Me: "When people cough up blood it usually means they are going to die."
Hannah: *laughs* "No..."

Apparently she has a NORMAL sickness that EVERYONE has right now...its "going around." I say coughing up blood is a very bad thing. I'm glad you called into work sick, Hannah. And PLEASE....let me know if things get worse :). Haha. I love how you laugh at my concern. It really was a very funny conversation. I love you!!

I was supposed to work 3-8 tonight. I worked 3-11. Sigh. They extended my shift to 9 because they were short. Then someone asked me to stay for her because she wasn't feeling well. I have a really hard time saying no to healthy people...so you can probably figure out how it all ended. She walked out the door at 9 as I watched from my completely boring post at U-scan. Alas...I need the money. I only have a short time left at the store anyhow. I might as well get more hours.

Tomorrow I don't work till 7:15pm. I'm pretty thrilled. Mom and I are going out to LUNCH together! woohoo. Fun. I'm excited to hang out with her.

Alright. Goodnight to all...

"She said honey take me dancing..."

I like talking to my brother. He is all full of brotherly wisdom :) Especially when it comes to relationships. Haha. Oh luke. He says I won't get married until I learn to burp properly. And by properly he means LOUD. It's ridiculous. Apparently I won't be attractive until I can. Where does he come up with these things?? He's crazy.

We watched Cold Case together tonight (a low quality show with terrible acting) and then sat in the living room and talked. It was nice. I had half of a pop tart and then some popcorn. Now I feel sick. Bleh.

I tried to read more in Confessions but I'm getting really sleepy. I talked to hallie today and to mark. I like talking to friends on weekends...for several reasons. First of all, cell phone minutes are free :). Second, it is more low key and relaxed--we actually have TIME to talk because we aren't so busy. Lastly, I just like talking to my friends.

I'm listening to Paul Simon's "Diamonds on the soles of her shoes." I want someone to take me dancing.

I did some more Christmas shopping today. I just need a little something for Luke and something for dad. I'm very pleased with the fact that come December--crowded malls, grumpy shoppers, traffic and noise--I will be able to relax and think about why I really like Christmas...the mystery of the incarnation and good times with family. Do you feel like with each year you get older, Christmas means more? I feel like each year I understand it a little better. With each year I get a closer look at the baby in the manger. With each year I get a deeper understanding of the incarnation. With each year I feel less excited about the presents and more excited about being together as a family and having special memories. Every year I get increasingly excited to read the "Christmas Story" in the living room as a family in the early, dark morning. I don't know. I guess its hard to explain. Maybe you think I'm crazy. Sure, the dancing penguins and singing polar bears in our Christmas display at work make me want to throw up. A lot about this upcoming holiday time does. But I really love Christmas...and the feelings grow stronger each year. It excites me. I look forward to going caroling (I love the look on peoples faces), listening to the "Back to Bethlehem" Odyssey (part one AND two, yesss), singing Christmas songs in Church (i wish our church sang more!), and watching Charlie Brown Christmas. I listened to Bing Crosby's White Christmas the other day and wished for snow. Unfortunately, it didn't snow. I look forward to my upcoming travels in the North country :)

Enough rambling. Good night to all!

I want to be a live-in nanny

Maybe just for a summer. I really do. If you know anyone, let me know. It's just something I've been thinking about...for a family with an only child or something who might be lonely. I think that would be a neat experience (though obviously also very challenging). Just a thought I had today.

I watched Kramer v. Kramer just now and cried a whole lot. It's a good movie.

I wish it would rain. I feel like taking a walk in the rain. I love walking in rain...

Hummingbird

I like Wilco. A lot. They have a song called Hummingbird that I like. A lot. I also really like their song California Stars. I think they are my new favorite band.

I worked 42 hours last week. Crazy. The week went by really fast. I suppose that's good. It was sort of a weird week. Lot's of crazy things happening with friends and relationships. Sometimes it all just makes me laugh. I've been in a laughing mood lately. Mostly it just blows my mind how God brings people together--as friends or as more. The wonder of it all makes me smile and then the laugh escapes. Can I help it?? It's cool to see how people meet, too, and who brings them together. I like my friends at work. A lot. Anne Marie and I hung out after work the other night and just talked and ate in her car until 2:30 in the morning. It was pretty much amazing. I love her. It makes me sad to think about leaving her. Sigh.

I went to my high school's homecoming tonight. It was weird. I don't know many people there. But Luke's friends are cool. I like them a whole lot. Oh! AND I got to see a good friend and teacher (Mrs. O'Hair). We're going to lunch on wednesday. I am SO excited!!

I have tomorrow off. FINALLY a sunday off! I am looking forward to it. I need to finish some Christmas secrets and do a lot of cleaning. and read. I'm on to reading St. Augustine's Confessions. Part of it, at least. I'm reading bits and pieces of a lot of books. It's kind of nice. I'm enjoying them all quite a lot.

i can't believe it will be November in 10 days. I leave soon. Very weird.

It's late and I should go to bed. Love to you all this Lord's Day!

I want to go on a 3-week solo backpacking trip with the Four Quartets, Shadow of the Almighty, and some Jonathan Edwards. Oh man. I really do.

I feel heavy

...you know when you just hurt inside and you feel on the verge of tears all the time?...you feel frustrated and sad but don't REALLY know why? It's sort of ridiculous but that's how I feel. I'm listening to "remember" by Harry Nilsson...

I feel like I haven't been very teachable lately. Lord, make it not so!

Getting Sick...AGAIN

ugh. I have an awful swollen, lumpy feeling developing in my throat. Not good. Why am I getting sick AGAIN? I don't usually get sick this often. Weird. I worked almost 40 hrs. this week...they're short staffed again so I had to work longer and/or extra shifts. Same goes for the upcoming week. This girl they just hired put in her two weeks after being there one. She and her fiance moved to Idaho today. Crazy! So all this week we're filling her shifts. And for the past two weeks the baggers have decided not to show up. It's really great...about 4-6 call in or don't come. So we're ridiculously short and it makes for a high-stress, grumpy environment. yuck.

the Prestige comes out friday. Can I just say that I am SO excited. I do have friday off (yay!) but I'm babysitting from 12-7...and by that times movies are ridiculously expensive. So we'll see. I probably won't see it for a while.

Oh. good news. I think they're actually going to let me have this upcoming sunday OFF. whew. Which means I might finally be able to go on that long awaited hike with Hannah and Grant. That would be exciting. It's perfect hiking weather right now. Low to mid 70's. I LOVE this time of year here.

Also. funny story. So...there's this bagger I like a whole lot named Eddie. He's super fun. Ann Marie (my manager) entered him in this Tucson district "bag-off" (I know, its true) last Saturday. HE WON! He got (among other things) a new dvd player, ipod, and lots of gift certificates. Crazy. Now he goes to Phoenix for the State bag-off. I hope he wins. I don't know what the prize is. Maybe a car. Maybe a house! I kid. anyhow, I thought it was a cool story. I got to make posters for our story congratulating him. It was fun. Yay for Eddie.

Ok. I need to go eat and go to work. I hope you all are enjoying your fall breaks or whatever it is you are doing!

I want to get married

I know...it sounds pathetic. But I do...

One Month, Five Days

Until I LEAVE....for the midwest. Aaaah. I am SO excited. However, I have been getting very sentimental about leaving work. It's weird, i know, but true. Last night I made brownies and brought them in to the closers at 11:30. Baking is no fun unless you have someone to bake FOR. I love my co-workers (most of them)!! I will miss them a whole lot...

In other news. I am back on track studying for the CLEP test. I am also almost completely done with my Christmas shopping. I'm kinda sad because I spent quite a bit of savings on gifts (but I have been trying to shop wisely and I am making a lot of gifts this year...just buying some supplies :)) but I would have spent it in December on gifts either way. This way, I have time to think about it and shop around. I'm pleased with my purchases. I just have a few more family gifts to get.

My car insurance payment just came. Bleh.

It's supposed to be in the lower 70's this weekend. That's exciting! I love the cooler weather. On monday I drove up Mt. lemon to see the leaves changing. It was so beautiful. In a couple weeks there will be even more color....but it was a start. It was a drizzly day up there and COLD. I loved it SO SO much!!! :)

I have a lot of letter-writing to do. I've gotten behind. Sorry if you are among those who haven't gotten replies...

I love you, Friends! And hope all is well. Midterms are over (or at least almost) so I'm sure that is a relief :). I miss you!!

I'm Really Excited for Christmas

Come thou long-expected Jesus,
Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find our rest in Thee.
Israel's strength and consolation,
Hope of all the earth Thou art;
Dear Desire of every nation,
Joy of every longing heart.

Born Thy people to deliver,
Born a Child and yet a King.
Born to reign in us for ever,
Now Thy gracious kingdom bring.

By Thine own eternal Spirit
Rule in all our hearts alone;
By Thine all-sufficient merit
Raise us to Thy glorious throne.

This is all...

1. People are amazing. Being in relationship is such a gift!

2. Nature is beautiful. It shouts the glory of God. I love it.

I'll tap the break while you crack the window
the smell of smoke is making my lungs explode
the 51 is backed up and too slow
let’s tune out by turning on the radio

There is a Gila Monster asleep on my back patio

True story...

So today I was sitting at our dining room table reading a little and writing in my journal. I happened to look out the sliding glass door onto our back patio and saw a GILA MONSTER waddling across the pavement. It was the craziest thing. I NEVER see them...they are never out! It's probably because it has been cooling off. Anyway. I got up to take pictures and it freaked out...darting its head around and spitting its tongue out at me (a black, forked thing. yuck). I know they can't move fast but I must say I was very glad there was a door separating him from me. yikes. He was not happy. So I sad back down to read and the next thing I know, Mr. Gila Monster has folded his front arms under him and is ASLEEP! Haha. His eyes were actually closed. So I got my camera out again...but then he woke up. You can see his arms under him, though...how cute! He eventually waddled off into the bushes. So crazy. haha. It was really cool.

So...tonight at work I figured the Grand Canyon plans out with Jordan and Ann Marie. We're scheduling it for Nov 10 and 11. We're going to camp up there. It'll be cold but SO fun. I can't wait. I also told Ann Marie I will be leaving. She was sad...which made me sad...I like her so much. I want to hang out with her more! There are people at this job that make leaving a bit difficult. Sigh.

I can't believe it's already October. I've been working for Fry's for 3 FULL months! That's crazy. And...Christmas is only a little over two months away. Ridiculous! Where does the time GO???

Man. I really need to get on my CLEP studying. Really. yuck.

I finished Blue Like Jazz and now I'm reading Why We Can't Wait by Martin Luther King, Jr. So far its very good...and very interesting. It's a small book so I should be finished with it soon. I think I'm going to read On the Road next. We'll see. Any suggestions from others? I don't promise I'll take them but I enjoy recommendations. :)

Ok. It's 12 and I'm so tired. You wouldn't think so because i got 12 and 1/2 hrs of sleep last night. I know...ridiculous. But I didn't set my alarm and I just kept sleeping and sleeping and sleeping. I think being around so many people and so much commotion at work really drains me. If not, then I don't have an explanation. :) I guess my body just needs sleep. Who knows.
I miss you, friends! Talk to you later.
Much Love!!! -Andrea

"Mary" by Patty Griffin

I have discovered Patty Griffin, thanks to reading Blue Like Jazz. I like her a lot. This song is amazing.

"In the song, Patty talks about Mary, the mother of Jesus, and what it must have been like the day her son was killed. She paints this painful picture of Mary inside her house, cleaning, and as the song played I imagined Mary washing down the counters and sweeping the floors, frantically, trying not to think about what they had done to her Son that morning. And I imagined Mary falling down outside her door on her hands and knees and beating her fists into the dirt and screaming at God." (blue like jazz)

I forget about Mary. I forget that she was real...that she was a wife...that she was a mom. And her Son was killed.

I listened to this song on repeat last night and cried. I have never thought about that day from Mary's point of view before. Not like that anyway.

Lyrics:
Mary youre covered in roses, youre covered in ashes
Youre covered in rain
Youre covered in babies, youre covered in slashes
Youre covered in wilderness, youre covered in stains
You cast aside the sheet, you cast aside the shroud
Of another man, who served the world proud
You greet another son, you lose another one
On some sunny day and always stay, mary

Jesus says mother I couldnt stay another day longer
Flys right by me and leaves a kiss upon her face
While the angels are singin his praises in a blaze of glory
Mary stays behind and starts cleaning up the place

Mary she moves behind me
She leaves her fingerprints everywhere
Everytime the snow drifts, everytime the sand shifts
Even when the night lifts, shes always there

Jesus said mother I couldnt stay another day longer
Flys right by me and leaves a kiss upon her face
While the angels are singin his praises in a blaze of glory
Mary stays behind and starts cleaning up the place

Mary youre covered in roses, youre covered in ruin
Youre covered in secrets
Youre covered in treetops, youre covered in birds
Who can sing a million songs without any words
You cast aside the sheets, you cast aside the shroud
Of another man, who served the world proud
You greet another son, you lose another one
On some sunny day and always stay
Mary, mary, mary