from the couch

sometimes its hard to believe in a God we don't understand. things happen in life--to us or to those we care about--that don't make sense. they come at us out of nowhere.
life doesn't ask permission. life isn't polite. sometimes life is so very, very, unashamed.

and yet somehow we wouldn't have it any other way. we need a God that we don't understand. a God that is bigger than life when it doesn't ask permission, isn't polite, and is relentlessly unashamed. even the God that we don't understand compels us to pray for faith we don't have; strength we cannot muster; hope we dare not imagine.

be our biggest God. above the other gods. the gods of fear and doubt and distrust. steal away our false gods that promise fake support and empty hope. be our biggest God.
you are our biggest God.

and when this life steals all our words, stifles our prayers, and threatens to quench our faith, it is a beautiful thing to walk side by side. who will sit with you in silence, pray your worn-out-prayers for you, and uphold your faith with her own? it's important to be near each other. i'm reminded of the words of bebo's song:

You can borrow mine
When your hope is gone
Borrow mine
When you can't go on
Cause the world will not defeat you
When we're side by side
When your faith is hard to find
You can borrow mine

we pray. provide people to walk beside us when our faith is hard to find. there are those who are facing life raw right now. we've heard that you are Upholder; Healer; Shelter; Friend. reveal yourself as these. you are the giver of life. we pray for new life. in the meantime we also hope for new normals--life back to "the way it was" before the news, the choice, the mistake...life to live again.
amen.