Do you ever have so many thoughts flying around in your head that your emotions get really tangled up (currently: huge amounts of love and sadness and fear and worry and pain...)? That's how I feel... a little like a mess and a lot in need of grace... like the slightest thing will set me off... It's overwhelming, and very exhausting. I want to cry with my face in a pillow and get it all out. I can feel this tangle of emotion building up and I feel like I just might burst. I feel rather ridiculous because if anyone were to look at me they probably wouldn't really notice anything... but inside I just sorta feel like I'm screaming. There are a lot of changes right now in our family. I think that's the hardest thing. Growing up isn't easy when it means losing certain loved ones. I find myself crying "Why, Father?" and listening for some sort of reply. Its coming... but in bits and pieces. I ask for the strength and the courage to be patient, meanwhile redeeming the time. I need to cast all my cares on the Lord. Please, pray for strength.
And I feel a constant need to be hugged.
All this thinking and hurting has led me to Isaiah 41:9, 10.
I know this post is crazy confusing. I'm sorry. There's a lot to explain but I'm just really tired right now.
My Papa is in the hospital and not doing well. He is one of the most amazing people I know. I have deleted so many lines of type because I can't seem to say the right words... I love him. I think that's enough for now. I love my Papa. He is my "Numero Uno."
"And I thank the Lord for the people I have found,
I thank the Lord for the people I have found."
2 comments:
Wait, your grandfather?
Not your dad, right?
Either way I'm praying Andrea.
yes, my grandpa. Thank you, guys.
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