Tuesday, June 21, 2011


I can hear wind and rain out the window. I love that. So long as the tree branches stay attached to the trees and don't snap off onto my car (i have seen a record number of snapped tree branches due to these rainstorms...and a few on cars...please God, noooo).

The days have been so very "summer." I can't really describe it to you, I just hope you know what I mean. You know, evening air thick and humid, sunshine across the kitchen floor, country music (with the windows rolled down, duh), kids waking up from naps all hot and sweaty, popsicles, a glass of white wine...
The only thing I haven't seen yet are fireflies. I didn't grow up around them so I don't actually know if (maybe) they come out later in the summer...? I do know we don't see many in the city, which is a real shame. I love them. A whole lot.

I've found myself on my knees a lot lately. Literally and figuratively. Prayer has been a daily must and I guess when you're down wiping up puppy pee, cat vomit, stooped low to talk to a little one about why it is not okay to hit, scream, scratch, or stomp, or down on all fours cleaning up a spill, the kneeling part comes easy. But then there's my heart and getting it to a place of love, compassion, kindness, and care in the midst of all the sounds, smells, and frustrations of the day(s). It isn't always difficult--I really love these kids--but it can be. Really. Patience is a requirement. Love is patient, that's what I keep remembering. But it seems we're trained in impatience, doesn't it? Faster/shorter lines, instant foods, daily schedules and appointments to keep. But life-lessons don't always follow a schedule and maturity isn't met by appointment only. I am learning this.

I have seen in myself lately lots that needs changing. I've also seen lots that needs celebrating and maybe even a little bit of "freeing." I believe that sometimes we get to places in life and we find we've withheld where we shouldn't have; kept our mouths shut or our priorities stunted when we should have made a different decision.

A toast (raising my glass of white wine, MmMmmm): to us! To kneeling every day to say in humility and need, "I need changing. But I am also one of God's beautiful ones--His made-after-his-own-likeness ones; and that needs celebrating."

Life is beautiful. It's also short. Sometimes I forget this. It's a tender balance to live with this in mind in healthy ways--I've swung in both directions. I would like to be more in the middle.

I should go to bed. This pooped nanny has been short on sleep, i think...

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