Monday, November 02, 2009

listening to "hey ya" by obadiah parker

this song makes me think of sarah, mariah, and lacy. i think because it brings back memories of the four of us--last semester traditions and even their visit a week ago. i miss them.

today was a strange day. do you ever have days that just feel unreal? are you ever stopped by the thought, "how did i end up here?" not in a bad way, just in a reflective way. i felt that way a lot today. it was a day full of moments in which i seemed to be looking in on my life from outside of it. am i crazy? do you ever feel this way??

today cameron tripped and cut his lip a little. the blood scared him, i think, and his screaming made me so sad! i spent a lot of the afternoon calming him down. we ended up building legos. i really love those kids. sometimes when i take care of them i feel like a mom. it sort of makes me smile. sometimes it makes me laugh.

i've been thinking about my time here. i have one more semester at moody. that's it.
this has been a good place.
God has done much in me here.

sometimes i think of this time like you might think of a cherished photograph. you know, the one that you tack above your desk or tuck away in a dusty old shoebox. you can always look at it with deep joy and firm gratitude as something reflective of an experience--a moment--that really changed you. i think i'll always look back on this time as beautiful and experience rather indescribable and somehow very formative.

sometimes i feel so old...
and life is different than what i expected.
that's ok. i'm glad it's different. i hope it always surprises me.
forced trusting.
He will break in again and again...
i hope it and i pray it, for life is too hard without His interruptions.
even though it is often His interruptions that seem so hard.


M. Perkins said...

'are you ever stopped by the thought, "how did i end up here?" not in a bad way, just in a reflective way.'

You know how many times I've looked at my work pants covered in cow shit and thought that this last week? Today was a doozy.

Did I ever tell you how Tom Ogden played that (the hey ya cover) before chapel one day at HCF? You know how they always play music while people are shuffling in. Well he played that and sang it very religiously and most people didn't notice until he got the "shake it shake it" part. It was fantastic.

Andrea said...

i wish you could see how hard i laugh when i read some of your blog entries. it's almost pathetic. maybe because i know you. and i can picture it. and because i feel sorry for you, too. i'm excited to hear you tell stories at christmas. i got my ticket home yesterday!

i wish i could hear tom play it--probably amazing. it's been my "theme" song lately. only because i listen to it all the time. all the time.