Sunday, April 17, 2011

spring hiatus

I'm taking a bit of a "blogging break." This is for several reasons and they aren't worth mentioning on here but I wanted to say goodbye, for a bit.

The trees that line the street are budding and bursting bright green. Glorious. Luke texted me tonight to remind me of a childhood memory: catching fireflies in glass jars. He was sitting on the cabin porch watching them in the woods. What I would give to join him right now...

These signs of spring and of coming summer are signs of life after what has seemed like an especially long, cold, dark, and grey winter here in the city. I always appreciate when calendar seasons help carry us through seasons of life--seasons of the soul. I find that God is reminding me, even as I look at all the new green buds, that hope is real, that he cultivates life abundant, and that he is about transforming things (beauty from ashes, life from death, new from old).

Today in church Bob reminded, "Jesus didn't come to meet our expectations, he came to meet our need." That woke me up from some of the frustration I feel towards God when he doesn't meet my expectations (and yet he continues to work patiently and lovingly for my need). Bob also reminded us how we tend to work for the rearrangement of our lives instead of the change and transformation that life with Christ necessarily carries. We would prefer to keep things in a way that we can just move them around. But complete and total change, newness, difference; well, that's frightening...and potentially painful (reminds me of that scene in Lewis' Great Divorce of the lizard...does it represent lust? i can't remember...attached to the man who won't allow it to be killed because he thinks he can manage it). Nearness to God means things will be brought up that demand change: overhaul. Sometimes this will start and grow small, other times I think it's more of a "big deal" project that God shows us needs attention and priority--whatever it takes to kill the things we "manage" (that we often become enslaved to) and instead live the freedom of life with Him. Easter newness. Easter life. Freedom from death. Victory over grave. Life all new, like the bright green leaves budding and busting out all around us. Hmm.

My interview was moved to Thursday, so keep praying!! I'm also fighting a sore throat/cold. The boys were sick last week. I was also up a few nights pretty late, which probably didn't help my body fight it. BUT we got the last disc of Friday Night Lights. It's all over now. Sad. What a great show. I think I want to marry a coach. And I miss the Southwest again.

Lacy got a rabbit. We have a rabbit and a hamster in our house. Sometimes it makes me laugh...usually when I hear her talking in a baby voice to "Peter Rabbit" from an adjacent room. I think the only pet I want to have is a dog. But that's just my preference :)

Alright, I'm going to go read in bed for awhile. Goodbye, for awhile!



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