Wednesday, October 21, 2009

apples and gifted moments

do you ever live days that are obviously "gifted" days? i mean, frequented with moments in which you say to yourself, "this moment is beautiful and so intentionally given to me." today has been one such day. i am privileged to look back on it and say "thank you, my God, for life lived today." the weather couldn't have been better. the colors were spectacular--i think today might have been the peak. the breeze scattered leaves, blowing them into my face as I sat on a sunny bench to eat an apple. i brainstormed a little with Dr. Schmutzer about my internship, continued dialoguing over The End of Memory, and caught some more of the vision i have for my future. i sat on houghton roof with whitney for an hour sipping a blended chai while talking about life, sharing wonder, and sitting in quiet over some of life's not-so-easy questions. i slacklined in washington park for half an hour (stepped in dog poop barefoot, but that's beside the point) and sat in crunchy, musty leaves.

i now find myself sitting in a library cubicle thinking about the homework i don't want to do but need to. Sarah and Mariah come into town in about 6 hrs--i can hardly believe the reunion weekend is here. i am SO anxious to see them. sigh.

i wish i had more time to read the books i've been wanting to read but don't have time to. today in Holocaust and the Crisis of Evil, McDuffee urged us to read, read, read (in particular, the Communist Manifesto). I wish I could take him up on it. Maybe i just need to prioritize a little bit better. hmmm. i might try to incorporate more "other" reading into my schedule. the problem is, the second half of the semester is going to be fuller than the first--lots of papers and projects. i got one of them approved today, which is exciting (and, in turn, motivational). For Cross Cultural Church Planting, a class I am often discouraged by, I have been given permission to write the major research paper/project on how church planting methods can (and ought) be used to revive existing churches. It bothers me how flippantly the class suggests we "give up on" dying churches for the purpose of planting new ones. I'm realizing more and more how much my heart is directed toward healing, nurturing, and ministering to redeem, not simply to create something new. does that make sense? so, with regard to this class, the "appeal" for me is not in starting new churches all the time but rather in addressing WHY existing churches are dying. What's happening here? What do these churches need that they aren't getting? How can we renew the health of congregations...?

My heart bends in the direction of member care...soul care...self care...there is a growing need and wow, if this need is ignored any longer......?

I'm excited to write the paper now.

My major paper for my Holocaust class is on the role of memory in suffering/trauma--specifically, as it relates to the events of the Holocaust. One of the major thinkers/writers i'll be studying is Elie Wiesel. I've already read a bit of his works and am eager to study more. I'm especially anxious to write this one since I've been reading The End of Memory. The idea of redeeming memory has been popping up all over the place recently...

I still have one more sermon to preach in November and am not sure at all what I'd like to do...It's to be a New Testament text. hmm. I'll have to give that one some concerted thought soon.

This has gotten long. sorry. there are a million and one thoughts bouncing around in my head and i had to get some of them out before i dive into this paper i'm writing on 1 Cor. 3:9-17....i am very ready to be done with this paper...i've been looking at it for far too long. sigh.

ok. gotta go.
i hope you live to recognize gifted moments this week! they are there, but sometimes they are shy and quiet. just look.


citizenofheaven said...

i miss you. thats all.

the McGee family said...

oh my gosh! HI!