Tuesday, September 23, 2008

smiling through my days. the heart is glad.

I feel like its been ages since I’ve given a “true” update. It’s pretty long overdue…I guess tonight is the night. I’m in a writing mood. I really should be writing my paper but…I’m sure you know how that goes. Sometimes, when I am in the mood to write, I am entirely distracted UNTIL I write. Can you relate? If not, bear with me ☺

Tonight is “live music night” in Joe’s (our campus coffee shop). So I’m up here doing homework until it starts. Homework until I’m too tired to focus and then I will go to the gym. I’ve been biking. Usually I only bike for about 6-7 miles (stationary). I like it, though. And if it isn’t too busy I’ll swim. But usually it’s busy so I don’t. Sad.

What a week! What a semester! It’s going so fast. It’s been relatively “quiet” but I feel at the same time like it’s been really full. Hmmm. The quietness of the summer has spilled over and I find myself living very reflective, contemplative days. This is really wonderful. Remember that I had been thinking a bit about the monastic live and contemplative prayer over the summer…and was really hoping to bring a “simple-ness” into my days. I think the Lord has been honoring this request.

I find myself very simply at peace; very simply at rest; very simply enjoying life; very simply loving Him.

This semester is unlike any other of my college career. I can’t really pinpoint WHY. It simply is. I like it. I am blessed by it. It feels deeply refreshing and I sense a rich working of the Spirit.

Days so full of mystery and wonder that I can only respond with a smile.

I have some really incredible classes this semester. You know, with those phenomenal professors. The ones that make your jaw drop open and your arm hairs stand on end. Again, I am blessed.

I am particularly challenged and encouraged in my Old Testament Biblical Theology class. My prof. is a brilliant man of God and I am constantly awed. I went in to talk to him the other day—about life in general and issues of suffering and sovereignty in particular. An hour and forty-five minutes later, I was entirely overwhelmed and COMPLETELY encouraged. It was a much-needed conversation. It was totally unexpected, really. It was a huge blessing to me. I can’t even articulate it all. Basically, he helped me hash out my vision for my future; my heart for missions/aid work; my longing to go; my commitment to stay; my desire to grow; my restlessness; my contentedness….everything. He helped with practicals: here’s what to be doing NOW. He helped with more abstract ideals: how to learn/know myself and learn/know the Lord well in this time. Gah! I can’t give the conversation justice. Just take my word for it ☺

Well. I really need to go write that paper. Sigh.
Life is good. Getting to know some new people, building and investing in “old” (that’s a terrible way to say it) friendships and loving it, and trusting the Lord with details of school (finances, job, future, etc).

Continually challenged to trust. My days aren’t my own. He is carrying me along. If I had to choose a “theme” for my days, it would still be: Sustained. I am everyday awed to see and experience him upholding me.

We also, before the temptation comes, think we can walk upon the
sea, but when the winds blow, we feel ourselves begin to sink....
And yet doth it yield no good unto us? We could not live without
such turnings of the hand of God upon us. We should be
overgrown with flesh, if we had not our seasonable winters.
It is said that in some countries trees will grow,
but will bear no fruit, because there is no winter there.
-John Bunyan

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