Thursday, October 30, 2008

blessed is this life, and i'm gonna celebrate being alive.

i can't sleep. it's 12:04 and I got into bed at 9:40. I was up at 10:30 for awhile and back into bed at 11:20 or so. But I am up again. Bah! I really wanted to get good sleep because I have a philosophy exam tomorrow morning I've hardly studied for. I was soo tired tonight and had a headache so i went to bed with the intention of getting up at 5 to study more. I'm still going to...i just wish I could SLEEP a little before then. grrr. perhaps getting some of the thoughts out of my head will help quiet my mind :)

I'm so blessed. Life's been challenging as of late--mostly spiritually/emotionally. I've felt really "sucked dry" by all I am realizing, learning, etc. But the past few days have been encouraging for simple reasons and i am grateful that the Lord has so blessed me... Friendships are wonderful. I'm challenged not to take them for granted...

late night phone conversations in the hall
conversation with a new friend from another culture
girl time and laughter
study nights at starbucks
discovering a like-heart and talking about life instead of researching as planned
unplanned run-ins
coffee dates
catching up with "far-away" friends

There is so much to be thankful for, not only in relationships but in everyday life...

sunshine and crisp, clear weather
a cup of hot tea or coffee on a cold day
anticipation of family reunions
hard lessons learned from good books
smiles from a stranger
crunchy leaves to step on :)

And then there's the life of the mind and deep stirrings of the soul...

the mysteriousness of His love for me
new revelations of sin in myself and the world
immortal horrors made beautiful but nevertheless sinners: learning to live this side of eternity
a big world and an eager heart
hard disciplines learned slow
spiritual apathy and the desire of LIFE
learning heady truths with heartfelt sincerity
longing for whole self transformation not just information accumulation
who am I?

Sitting in a place of awe-filled wonder and sometimes terror...

what will my life hold?
what will the experiences of this world bring?
how shall I now live?
can I rightly hold the beauty of this life?
what should I speak/not speak?
how should I act/not act?
my days are lived in view of eternity ... we are but passing shadows...

Maybe now I can sleep. Peace to all. I hope you are also being challenged to live life intentionally--hard days and all. It isn't easy living here when, as Lewis identified, we've been made for another world.

1 comment:

Dre Legit said...

mmmmmmm. You seriously have one of the deepest hearts that I know. No lies. I love that you are so open with what you feel and how much stirs your soul.....