Thursday, November 13, 2008

"I know what you need"

I like it when friends "know what you need."

Tonight I painted with Melinda. She's got much more than I do. I tried acrylics for the first time. And she has a bunch of small canvases. Mmmm. We hung out in Joe's for two hours painting and talking. It was wonderful. She was right...i needed the artistic release :) Mixed with good conversation. I'd say it was the perfect way to spend a Thursday evening.

I painted a bright red, orange, and yellow sun with bright green behind it. It's been grey here. It's going to be grey for a very long time... It definitely affects me. I feel sad, tired or depressed for no reason when it is consistently grey. Some days are harder than others. It sounds ridiculous. Almost laughable. But then when the sun comes out my disposition totally changes. Grrrr. So I painted a sun to hang on my wall. Already it makes me smile. It's to remember the gift of God's big beautiful ball of fire that is somewhere always out there--even if I don't see it for days on end. Sigh.

I think I'm going to read a book. I just had an apple with cheese. Yum. You know what I feel like?? I feel like running through a big, wide open field!! Spinning until too dizzy to stand and falling down to stare up at a big blue sky. Hm. I have a hunch that I am feeling suffocated in the city. haha. what gave it away?? Oh dear...

So. I am going to do a directed studies course next semester with Dr. Schmutzer. I am super excited about it. I'm meeting with him tomorrow AM--more details to follow.

I read The Picture of Dorian Gray for De Rosset's "Forbidden Knowledge" lit course. It's the first book i've been able to read all the way through this semester (b/c I'm auditing). I am so glad I read it. It's a really incredible book. I recommend you read it. It is, as De Rosset said, a dissection of the human personality. It is a case study of narcissism all the way--somewhat horrifying because it is pretty awfully a picture of our culture. Man...what a time we live in. The world has always been deeply steeped in sin and brokenness but do you ever have moments when you feel like you have just "woken up" to it? Or, at least, are awakened anew? This semester has been very revelatory for me in that sense...very much with regards to my own heart and life but also to the world at large--humanity large scale. Can you honestly deny the fact that something is ridiculously messed up and in dire need of a HOPE to live for?

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