Thursday, January 01, 2009

for the last time?

i think tomorrow is my last shift ever at the Tucson Country Club. I don't know for sure that I won't be on next weeks schedule but I hinted and its been dead so i know they don't need me. It's a little funny thinking about leaving and probably never seeing these people again. As always, God provided great relationships and a good work environment--to challenge and teach me lots.

the years go by so fast.

experiences fly by.

tonight i am thinking about how valuable the "college experience" is. So much is learned--a much better "handle" on just plain life but an equally astounding uneasiness about the realized complexities of life develops.

i have no idea what to do with my life.

i know i don't have to have it all figured out.
I don't really even feel a TON of pressure or anything. But i do think. i do dream. i do wonder. i do pray. and lots is shrouded in mystery.

sometimes it feels as though there are a handful of good opportunities that each feel "right" or, at least, feel equally "open."
maybe its just confusing that we talk in terms of what is "open" to us or what "feels right" to this even the right kind of language to be using? I don't know.

I think there are some interesting new developments in my heart--in my soul. It almost seems like turning 22 (or maybe its just being on break) has given me different perspective, increased peace...

i feel much more "chill" about where God is leading, how He's getting me "there" and what I ought to be doing in the meantime. I am less and less paranoid about "getting there" and more and more relaxed in trusting that life lived for Him is important no matter what I am doing and no matter where I am living.

maybe none of this makes sense. because I'm tired. and I really really want to sleep.


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