Monday, December 29, 2008

never thought i'd be living it

when I read Vanauken's "A Severe Mercy" years ago, I sort of hoped my life would reflect certain pages in his story but never imagined it actually would. I always pictured their little gatherings in the upstairs apartment talking late into the night of theology, politics, religion, philosophy, literature, poetry, etc., while sipping was so enthralling. as i find it, my life (at least at certain times) does reflect those "magical" moments...

I have always enjoyed good, "deep," conversation. But I have also seen that some people spend much of their lives TALKING about a lot of things but not actually living them. What good is talk about honest things without an honest living out? Dry.

So for as much as I value and deeply enjoy good, honest conversation, I don't ever want to be a "talker for the sake of talking." I think conversation ought to drive and encourage fellowship and godly living--the pursuit of God and holiness. I've been blessed with so much grace-filled fellowship. Conversation is so meaningful and I don't think we ever will understand how much words matter--and how much the time spent exchanging words matters. May we spend it well.

I think of coffee dates at school--trudging through snow to spend a warm couple of hours sipping coffee with a friend. I think of hallway conversations late into the night--hushed whispering. I think of blessed conversations on the EL on PCM nights. I think of "catch-up calls" on the phone that are a welcome surprise. I think of lounging around on couches at home for breaks--talking into the wee hours of the morning. I think of early morning breakfast conversations at the dining room table or curled up on the living room couch.

i love community. as difficult as it is. as much sacrifice as it requires. i really, truly am so grateful for it. if we seek the honest circle--the grace to seek the deeper bonds--we will walk together through the mud and the muck of life; through hours of dancing and days of joy; through weeks of sorrow and years of mystery.

Life is a good good gift.


Anonymous said...

I really appreciated this post. It reminded me of a particular quote from their Oxford years that really struck me.
"This, you know, is a time of taking in - taking in friendship, converstation, gaiety, wisdom, knowledge, beauty, holiness - and later, well, there'll be a time of giving out.
Later, when we are scattered about the world. Now we must store up the strength, the riches, all that Oxford had given us, to sustain us after. She stood there, Oxford, like a mother to us all with her hands heaped with riches. We could take what we would."

Andrea said...

YES! oh, Hallie. That's just what I feel like :)